The Jumping Pig Holdings · Development · Attire

Investment · Development · Brand Creation

Other firms follow the market. We jump it.

The Jumping Pig is a multinational investment and development firm. We create every logo and every brand in our portfolio in-house, then fund the start-ups behind them. Most were conceived while intoxicated. All were funded anyway.

View the portfolio Our thesis
The Jumping Pig
$847M
Capital deployed
Mostly after 9 p.m.
$41.6B
Enterprise value created
Unaudited. Unauditable.
25
Portfolio brands
Every logo drawn in-house
14
Countries of operation
Give or take a campground

01 The Firm

It began as a bar and grille. Then it got out of hand.

For years The Jumping Pig served food, drinks, fire and fun to anyone who wandered in. Then our founder noticed that the regulars pitched their best business ideas somewhere around the third round, and that none of those ideas had a logo. So we drew the logos, built the brands and funded the start-ups. Today we hold interests in hospitality, maritime logistics, defense, condiments and luxury apparel.

Our edge is simple. We are in the room when the idea happens, and we are the only ones who remember it in the morning.

  1. 01

    Food

    Consumer

    Paninis, brick-oven pizza, steamed weenies. We back anything a person will stand in line for.

  2. 02

    Drinks

    Liquidity

    Taverns, tiki bars and one autonomous lake vessel. Also where 94% of our deal flow originates.

  3. 03

    Fire

    Energy

    Open flame is the oldest technology on earth. We remain deeply involved. So deep we actually torched one of our investments.

  4. 04

    Fun

    Entertainment

    Talent, nightlife and competitive golf. The returns are immeasurable, so we stopped measuring.

02 Portfolio

Some of the brands we create.

Every logo and every brand below was created in-house by The Jumping Pig. Most of the companies were conceived while intoxicated and funded before anyone sobered up. Valuations are ours and should be enjoyed, not relied upon.

  • B-ill's Junk logo
    01

    B-ill's Junk

    Your junk, his junk...he just grabs junk $69M
  • The Figsitational logo
    02

    The Figsitational

    Like the masters but better $6.1B
  • Tavern on the Berm logo
    03

    Tavern on the Berm

    Hospitality $3.4B
  • Lincoln's Lawnmowing logo
    04

    Lincoln's Lawnmowing

    Land Management $910M
  • Lisa's Pieces logo
    05

    Lisa's Pieces

    Confectionery...maybe $1.2B
  • Jeanie's Paninis logo
    06

    Jeanie's Paninis

    Quick Service $2.8B
  • Dave's World Famous logo
    07

    Dave's World Famous

    Brick Oven Pizza $4.1B
  • Hapy's Place logo
    08

    Hapy's Place

    Fine Dining $1.9B
  • Mark's Kitchen logo
    09

    Mark's Kitchen

    Culinary $2.2B
  • The One and Only Braxton logo
    10

    The One and Only Braxton

    Talent Priceless
  • The Devil's Lettuce logo
    11

    The Devil's Lettuce

    Cannabis Dispensary $760M
  • The Boner logo
    12

    The Boner

    Maritime Logistics $5.0B
  • Lona's Dirty Hole logo
    13

    Lona's Dirty Hole

    Adult Entertainment - STDs $1.1B
  • Banners by Brooke logo
    14

    Banners by Brooke

    Creative Studio $640M
  • Creative Hayes Design logo
    15

    Creative Hayes Design

    Brand Creation (Wholly Unaffiliated) Undervalued
  • Kenny's Steamy Weenies logo
    16

    Kenny's Steamy Weenies

    Street Food $3.3B
  • Deck 17 logo
    17

    Deck 17

    Nightlife, but at s12 $1.7B
  • Fitch's Hazardous Fruit logo
    18

    Fitch's Hazardous Fruit

    Spirits $2.6B
  • Spicy Brown logo
    19

    Spicy Brown

    A Lifestyle not the mustard $880M
  • USS Ribbit logo
    20

    USS Ribbit

    Defense Classified
  • Traveling Tiki Bar logo
    21

    Traveling Tiki Bar

    Mobile Hospitality $1.50
  • Mike's F'ing Queso logo
    22

    Mike's F'ing Queso

    Melted cheese for chips $469M
  • The FBGA logo
    23

    The FBGA

    Someone had to manage it $2.5B
  • RM10 logo
    24

    RM10

    Elite Hockey Training $1.12B
  • Stroke Masters logo
    25

    Stroke Masters

    Questionable Golf Training $824M

  • Your brand here

    Bring us the idea you had at the bar. We draw the logo, build the brand and wire the money.

    Pitch the Chairman

03 Method

A disciplined process, loosely followed.

  1. Overhear

    Our deal flow has one source: ideas announced loudly after the third drink. We write them down before the founder forgets.

  2. Brand

    Before there is a product, a plan or a second opinion, there is a logo. We design every mark and build every brand in-house.

  3. Fund

    Then we capitalise the start-up before anyone sobers up. We do not exit. We have never exited. Nobody here is entirely sure how one exits.

04 Leadership

A creative mastermind. And a board, for appearances.

David Hayes

Co-Founder, Chairman & Creative Mastermind

The Jumping Pig began as a bar and grille, dreamed up during story time around the fire one night. Most people would’ve let that go. David didn’t. After several attempts to get the bar off the ground, ranging from lackluster to not technically happening, he went back to the drawing board. Then, over one unusually productive afternoon, he rebranded the still-hypothetical restaurant as a multinational investment and development firm, which is obviously the natural next step for a place that never served a burger. Every logo and brand in the portfolio comes from his studio, Creative Hayes Design. He’d like you to know that’s a separate company. Very separate. He’s been clear about this. He personally brands each new start-up, ideally before the founder has finished the sentence, and sometimes before they’ve decided to start a company at all.

People ask how we created forty-one billion dollars of value. I tell them the truth. I drew some logos and shit just started to happen.

The Executive Board

  • Seat 01

    Duarte Garcia

    Co-Founder, CFO & EVP

    Keeps the books creative and the shareholders calm. Personifies "Spicy Brown." Bankrolls Jeanie's Paninis.

  • Seat 02

    Mark Bastien

    Co-Founder & Executive Chef

    Has led several coups against the Chairman. Rehired each time because he can cook. Head of Mark's Kitchen.

  • Seat 03

    Ken Fioretti

    Co-Founder & Chief Optimist

    Certain everything will work out. Usually right. King of the steamy weenie. Runs Tavern on the Berm. Thinks we should fire Mark.

  • Seat 04

    John "Figs" Figueira

    Chief Strategist, Bucket Golf

    Namesake of the Figsitational. Perfected the art of packing a Yeti. Runs our partnership with the USS Ribbit.

  • Seat 05

    Gina Macchi

    Chief Operating Officer

    Sober. The voice of reason in a room with none. Runs operations for Lincoln's Lawnmowing and Dave's World Famous Pizza. Owed a substantial raise.

  • Seat 06

    Name sealed

    Chief Risk Officer

    Seat vacant since the incident.

05 Attire

The Jumping Pig, to wear.

The house's own label. Cut in limited runs, finished by hand, and priced to reassure. Each piece carries the crest or the pig, never both (except for sometimes), because restraint is the last true luxury.

Shop the collection

“The most important holding company ever founded in a bar.”
The Berm Street Journal
“We asked to see the books. We were handed a menu.”
Campground Business Weekly
“Every one of their companies began as a bar tab.”
The Lakeside Ledger
“Somehow, the shirts are sold out.”
Grandview Style Quarterly

06 Investor Relations

Request an allocation.

The fund is closed, oversubscribed and largely imaginary. Exceptions are made for qualified investors, founders with an idea they had at the bar, and anyone buying the next round.

Contact the Chairman's office
Minimum commitment
One round
Management fee
2% and a plate of wings
Due diligence
Conducted the morning after
Lock-up period
Until last call
Target return
Yes